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March 2003   Ron Marr
Useless Nitwits: A Brief History Of The UN By Ron Marr

Useless Nitwits: A Brief History of the UN By Ron Marr Commentary March 13, 2003

One of the first things noticed by visitors to the United Nations building in New York is a mosaic based on the Norman Rockwell painting, "The Golden Rule." Depicting various of the world's cultures, this work of art is inscribed with the famous passage, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

While the intent of these words is fine indeed, their residence in UN headquarters is the height of hypocrisy. A more appropriate illustration would be that of a flock of well-dressed ostriches with heads buried neck-deep in the sand, emblazoned with the legend "do nothing to others for then they'll only do things to the US."

Why are we in the UN? Why do we associate with a pack of wolves whose initials would better stand for "Useless Nitwits?" Do they live up to their goals? Do they follow through on promises? Do we, as Americans, receive any benefit from membership?

The answers are simple. We came to join and co-found the UN under the auspices of Franklin Roosevelt, patron saint of America's socialist nanny state. The idea of a world governing body arose from the ashes of Woodrow Wilson's "League of Nations" devised during the Treaty of Versailles. The League, as you may or may not know, fell to tatters when its directives and mandates displayed neither spine nor teeth. It did such a dandy job of preventing World War II.

Why America retains UN membership is another question entirely. In large part it is political. Those in elected office are afraid they would lose the votes of the American left -- those who prefer cradle-to-grave care and a dissolution of the rights promised by the US Constitution -- should they call for our immediate resignation.

You see, the American left by and large supports the UN; they prefer the concept of a world government over that of United States sovereignty. Why they feel this way is a question I cannot answer. To do so would be to define liberalism itself, a belief system which defies all logic or common sense and is based solely on emotion, wishes, fantasy and a certain bitter dedication to the illegality of humor, happiness and individualism.

Does the UN live up to its goals? Let's look at a few of their claimed "major achievements."

The UN membership is open to all "peace loving" nations that accept the obligations of the UN charter. I guess that's why their numbers include Afghanistan, Cambodia, China, Cuba, Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Syria and a host of other countries who never invade their neighbors, never abuse human rights, abhor torture and unlawful imprisonment and believe in personal liberty.

The UN brags of its work in the area of human rights. This is a joke. When Saddam Hussein began his genocide against the Kurds (beginning with the town of Halabja on March 16, 1988) he gassed and killed 5,000 people in one day. In the ensuing years, it is estimated he tortured and executed at least 100,000 men, women and children.

Apparently, the UN does not see such atrocities as a reason to militarily remove him from power. Neither do the human rights advocates of the American left, who care far more about heinous crimes against Redwood trees and pine beetles than they do crimes against humanity

The UN brags of its vital role in protecting the environment. Of course they ignore the violations of Saddam Hussein, possibly the worst eco-terrorist on the planet. Remember the aftermath of his burning of the Kuwaiti oil fields? Again, the American left ignores this fact, primarily because it is a Republican president who wants the Butcher of Baghdad to be brought to justice. Instead, as in a recent PETA ad, they compare sheep, pigs and cows to victims of the Nazi holocaust.

The UN brags of promoting self-determination and independence. This is too ridiculous for commentary, unless their idea of self-determination and independence is redistributing US wealth to madmen, thieves and killers.

You get the idea. As to what the US receives from the UN, let's put it in simple terms. We pay 28% of the UN's annual budget, but have no more clout than France (who pays six percent). We pay for 31.7% of all peace-keeping activities. We donate weapons, NATO Flights, logistical support, intelligence, ships and manpower to peacekeeping operations, while most other countries are reimbursed for such goods and services. We are the largest donor to UNICEF and most other UN independent agencies.

What do we get from being in the UN? We get abuse. We receive the enmity of the world. We receive unwarranted attacks from totalitarian nations and American leftists. We are called greedy and callous. We are told we are warmongers who abuse our power.

I say fine. Let's resign from the UN and see how long it exists. Let's keep our dough, spend it on chicks, booze and Camaros. Most of all, let's offer those Americans who so hate this country free tickets to the Third World wasteland of their choosing.

Let's even give them free UN T-shirts. I'm sure the useless nitwits would wear them with pride.

(Ron Marr is the founder of The Trout Wrapper, the official magazine of Montana's Tobacco Root Mountains. The publication believes in "big guns, big dogs and big bar tabs." Founded in 1994, The Trout Wrapper says it is "dedicated to hunting down and publicly tormenting the humor impaired," and it espouses the "wholesale abuse of all things politically correct.")