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January 2004   Alan stang
Shallow Sean: Eat This By Alan Stang


By: Alan Stang

Well, it looks as if I have talked and written my way into a corner. Regular readers are aware that your Intrepid Correspondent has routinely been mouthing off about the sad state of talk radio. On the illiberal Hegelian left there have been sporadic, unfunny attempts to launch a show – just one show – to compete with the unconservative Hegelian right. Of course those attempts have flopped, because, however victimized and deliberately misinformed the American people are, they still know stultifyingly boring bazonga (what you step in when you walk across a bull pen) when they hear it.

Maybe the doughnut holes on the left don’t understand that they are completely redundant, that the job they want to do is already being done – done brilliantly – by their pals who run the Communist Broadcasting System, the National Bureau of Communism, and the American Bureau of Communism, not to mention the Communist News Network. These danblathers pose as eminently "moderate" and "reasonable." In fact, they are every bit as totalitarian as the craziest dervishes on the left. Could that be at least one of the reasons the ratings of these antiquated networks have been cratering?

Remember, for instance, world government traitor Walter Cronkite, of CBS, "the most trusted newsman in America," who did as much as General Giap and Ho himself to defeat the United States in Vietnam. Since then, he has openly revealed what he is. (Krankheit, in German, pronounced the same way, means disease. We should have known. We were warned.)

The job of the illiberal Hegelian left is to look crazy, thereby making the unconservative Hegelian right look more sane. And they have done a superb job. On the unconservative side, we have Rush Limbaugh, brilliant, inventive, funny, a master entertainer, extruded almost entirely by the Machiavegelian geniuses at the Republican National Committee. There is Shallow Sean Hannity, inordinately handsome, a man of infectious charm (after all, he is Irish) and arguably the stupidest Lilliputian in the business, a man who routinely rushes to the microphone with any fax he gets from Washington, however preposterous it is.

They are just a couple of examples. They do say some good things. For instance, they do support our magnificent fighting men. They do report information the alphabet networks withhold. Remember that effective propaganda must be mostly – even almost all – true. If it were not, its victims would recognize it for what it is and reject it. Effective propaganda gives up some truth in order to propagate a more important lie.

If I hand a man Peoples World or Pravda, he either throws it back in my face or starts to wrap fish; he knows they are Communist Party publications the main purpose of which is to instruct the faithful. If I hand him the New York Times, he may read a few pages before he starts wrapping fish. So, the Times is infinitely more subversive. In like fashion, the late Senator William Fulbright voted segregationist all the time. Yet, he was an illiberal favorite. Why? His job was to promote world government, which he did very well. He voted segregationist not necessarily because he believed in segregation but because he represented Arkansas and had to.

What is the true purpose of people like Limbaugh? Again, it is to keep the true conservatives down on the farm, to pacify the patriots, to persuade them to keep voting Republican – however bad the Republicans get – because "there is nowhere else to go," to support George W. Bush for reelection because the Democrats offer nothing but the "ten dwarfs" (or is it nine?), and because whatever mistakes Bush may have made, he is still by far "the lesser of two evils," and will respect you in the morning.

Before the recent capture of Saddam Hussein – if it was Saddam our magnificent fighting men captured – even Mike Savage, maybe the best of the mainstream talkers, among all the others was publicly staggering around the studio trying to explain Washington’s Republican blitzkrieg against America. The blitzkrieg included the biggest expansion of government since Ted Kennedy (prescription drugs via Medicare for seniors), the betrayal of our loyal allies on Taiwan, suicidal federal spending, Tom Ridge’s trial balloon about legalizing the latest crop of illegal aliens, and on and on.

Despite all this, Mike staunchly supports George W. Bush. No, Mike, you are not savage. Like all the others, you’re a sissy. It is what Mike does not say that is important. Notice that all the unconservative talkers denounce the illegal alien invasion, for instance. That is what patriots want to hear. But Shallow Sean and Sissy Mike discuss it as if were happening by itself, as if George W. Bush has nothing to do with it, as if it could continue for another five minutes after the President of these united States picks up the phone and commands Tom Ridge to stop it.

Now notice that Limbaugh & Co. do give Bush the credit for the capture of Saddam (if Saddam is the man they have). In other words, according to these unconservative talkers, Bush has nothing to do with the bad things that happen, but he is all over the good things like a maggot on a suppurating wound.

In business, doing "due diligence" is routine. Even when there is not the slightest reason to doubt a man with whom one is contemplating doing business, one checks his bona fides. When the cashier checks your driver’s license, she is doing "due diligence." The point of "due diligence" is to learn about the man’s background, his reliability, and his reputation for truth.

None of the unconservative talk show hosts has asked my question, so I shall. Is Saddam the man they have? Remember, I’m not saying he isn’t. I’m saying he probably is, but I think the question is legitimate. Who gave us THE VINDICATION OF GEORGE W. BUSH, starring Saddam Hussein?

Wasn’t it the same liars who gave us THE VINDICATION OF WOMEN IN COMBAT, starring Jessica Lynch, girl war heroine, who "went down wounded, M-16 blazing, after annihilating most of the Iraqi army?" By the way, I have nothing against Jessica, who in my opinion is utterly adorable and was a victim of the sham, as she says herself. Wasn’t it the same criminal liars who gave us WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, also starring Saddam and so on and on?

Before the opening of THE VINDICATION OF GEORGE W. BUSH, he was in trouble domestically. The danger was great that the Times and other extreme left publications might do to the military what they did in Vietnam. Newt Gingrich, of all people, former Republican Speaker of the House, author of the phony revolution that wasn’t, was attacking Bush’s Iraq policy. Now that VINDICATION has opened in homes across America, all that has been erased. Bush is a military hero like Jessica.

The dwarfs had been denouncing Bush for not finding Saddam. Now, Bush has found him. The dwarfs not only could not complain; they even had to praise him. The trial of Saddam – if it is Saddam – will continue all year, until the election, reminding Americans of how great a hero Bush is. Quite a feat for a man who joined the Air National Guard to evade Vietnam, and then failed to show up. Do I detect the subtle hand of Karl Rove?

Was Karl holding Saddam (or a double) all along, waiting for the right time to dump him on the voters? Is Karl holding Osama bin Laden for the same purpose? If Bush announces the capture of Osama, the Democrats would not be able to elect Thomas Jefferson dogcatcher. Isn’t it interesting that both Saddam and Osama have been tools and clients of Washington?

I have not heard any of this mentioned on the unconservative airwaves. Again, I have routinely been mouthing off about it. Recently, Robby Noel interviewed me again on his talk show on the American Freedom Network. Robby knows what Communism is. He comes to us from South Africa, which Washington typically forced into the hands of Communist terrorist Nelson Mandela. He told me again I should be back on the radio. I told him I would go if someone put me there.

I started my radio career at NBC in New York, where I wrote a show. Later, on my own show, I went head to head with Larry King at 10 p.m. every night in Los Angeles. Larry came out of KNX, a 50,000-watt clear channel monster. I had 1000-watts. According to Arbitron – as close to scripture as many broadcasters ever get – I had almost twice as many listeners.

A few days after the Robby Noel interview, I listened to his show via streaming, and heard him telling someone else I should be back on the air. Listen to Robby’s fascinating program, the Ridgeback Report. Go to and click on radio for his schedule. At Robby’s instigation, Mike Golden, Program Director at KHNC Radio, called and offered exactly what I wanted. After mouthing off so much, I either had to do it or risk being called a Republican. This is probably more proof that you should be careful what you wish for because you may get it.

So, here’s the point of all this. On Monday, January fifth, 2004 – drum roll, please – I’ll be back on the air. If you live in eastern Colorado, in Denver, in Colorado Springs, in western Kansas, in Scottsbluff, Nebraska, or thereabouts, in Laramie, Cheyenne or thereabouts in Wyoming, simply tune in to KHNC Radio, 1360 AM, Monday to Friday, from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., Rocky Mountain Time.

Elsewhere in the United States, or in the world, for that matter, you can hear me via "streaming," on your computer. Simply download either Real Player or Winamp free from the Internet, which is the software you need for the purpose. Then go to my web site, Click on Network Talk Radio. Click on Listen – and welcome aboard. Remember to adjust for your time zone. If you are in Detroit, for instance – God help you – you would tune in at 5 p.m. And so on.

The program will also go up on satellite, where the address is G9, Channel (or Transponder) 2, sub-audio 7.76, horizontal polarity. Any station in the world can take it down from the satellite and air it. Maybe your local station would do so if you ask them and if the owner is not in Skull and Bones. Word already arrives that WXEI and KGGM will pick it up.

This will be an interesting experiment. Needless to say, I shall be plugging, where this particular adventure began and these commentaries will continue to appear. Call in and talk to me, but remember that I am not in studio – I could strike from anywhere – so I am not able to cue the engineer, and won’t know who you are. Bear with us.

The enemy loves to keep track of us, so they can expose our slightest mistakes. Fair enough. Let’s do the same. I’m talking about illiberals in politics, the media and the movies. I want to know everything they do. I want to know when Katie Couric (Spelling? It’s not worth the time to look up.) goes to the ladies’ room. Be assured I’ll put it on the air. I don’t care whom you nail. The only thing I ask is that it must be the truth. Meanwhile, let Shallow Sean know. Godzilla is coming. Listen. Listen to the ether. He is everywhere!

Alan Stang has been a network radio talk show host and was one of Mike Wallace's first writers. He was a senior writer for American Opinion magazine and has lectured around the world for more than 30 years. He is also the author of ten books, including, most recently, Perestroika Sunset, surrounding our Government's deception in the POW/MIA arena. If you would like him to address your group, please email what you have in mind. He is a regular columnist for Ether Zone.

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