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November 2004   alan stang
Bush Slaps Your Face, Hail To the Dyke By Alan Stang


By: Alan Stang

It was a landslide. I am not just talking about the plurality of almost four million votes, nor about the fact that from the west bank of the Hudson, where one enters these United States, to the California line, where one leaves them, the map is almost uniformly red. The landslide I am talking about is the one that slid in all eleven states where the issue of sodomite marriage was on the ballot. Everywhere the idea raised its perverted, ugly head the people smacked it down. The victory was a grand slam without exception. The ashen faces of the network media pukes testify to the magnitude of that fact. The word from Hollyweird is that the inmates are lumbering down Rodeo Drive like horror master George A. Romero’s Living Dead.

The experts tell us the Democruds were so out of touch with America that they not only didn’t understand the issue that rose up and smote them in the face; but also that they didn’t even know it was an issue. Yes, terrorism and the war were major factors, but the mystery issue was "moral values."

Where do moral values come from? They come from Christianity. They come from scripture, from the mouth of Jesus Christ, God Himself. It was Christianity that rose up and struck the sodomites down. This needs to be more than mentioned. It should be emphasized. But so far I have not heard anyone do so, not even Republicrat zombie talk radio (talent on loan from the Republicrat National Committee).

Why must this fact be explained? Because Christianity is what the present war is all about. Christianity is what the totalitarians are trying to destroy because it is the foundation of our culture and our institutions. The totalitarians know that if they destroy the foundation, the nation will collapse like the house built on sand. They know that is the only way they could ever seize power.

The reason the results are so inspiring is that they prove the heart of America is still sound, despite the best efforts of Big Fat Stupid White Man Michael Moore and many others. The Communist media know this, but they will never mention it. You and I need to communicate that inspiration to the heartland to insure that it does not lose heart.

The voters who crushed all eleven attempts to legalize sodomite marriage sent the sodomites a message. That message is: Slither back beneath the rocks from whence ye came. Live in the darkness, in the closet, where you belong. And Bush did indeed send them a message less than twenty-four hours after the landslide.

The Bush and Cheney immediate families appeared together onstage in the District of Criminals. There was the President, of course. Beside him was drop dead gorgeous wife Laura. It is easy to see why he calls her the love of his life. Behind them were the twins, showing off as usual. Why can’t their daddy hire them at least one decent writer to write them some good lines?

So far so good. Now look at the Cheneys. The bald man is Vice President Dick, a man who radiates security and competence, a man who has no coiffure and therefore needs no coiffeur. As a survivor of Communist traitor Kerry and Boy Edwards, I am herewith demanding a constitutional amendment that would require every candidate for national office to be bald.

Beside Dick Cheney was the brilliant Mrs. Cheney. Who else? Behind them was one of their daughters and her husband. She was holding an infant. Her little girl was there. After the initial introduction, she ran off stage to stash the infant and returned. So normal. So Christian and so Bush.

Now look again. There were two other females behind the Cheney parents. Who were they? Remember, this is supposed to be only the immediate families. As best I could tell, one of those females was the other Cheney daughter, the lesbian whom Communist traitor Kerry made the mistake of mentioning in the final debate. Remember that her mother is the author of a lesbian novel.

Yes, her presence was troubling but she is after all a member of the immediate family. As perverted as she is, that cannot be changed. But who was the other female? The other female was her "wife," or maybe her "husband." I am ready to stand corrected, but who else could she be? Just as the normal daughter was there with her mate, so the abnormal daughter was there with hers.

There are two possibilities. Either the Bush people are too stupid to realize what message they sent, or they meant to send that message, which is the possibility I pick. Remember, they were smart enough to win. By putting this very odd couple on stage, Bush was telling the troops that yes, maybe the clodhoppers in the red zone did vote down sodomite "marriage," and maybe we had to pretend otherwise, but be assured that we are still all for it. Just look on stage.

Is there any other evidence that supports this speculation? Well, hasn’t Bush done more to support organized sodomy than even Bill On Your Knees and Inhale My Cigar Clinton could get away with? Hasn’t Bush hired even more sodomites and other perverts to top federal jobs? Isn’t the man in charge of personnel at the Pentagon among them? Hasn’t Cheney said he supports "civil unions?"

Cheney’s lesbian daughter has worked – and maybe still works – for Pete Coors, who makes the beer that is oh so queer. Her job is or was liaison with the sodomite community. Why would a brewery need to liaise with the sodomites? Is there something extra in the Coors hops we should know about?

Coors ran for Senate in Colorado as a "conservative" Republicrat. His performance on the crucial illegal alien issue, for instance, was so incompetent, so bumbling – he even made Bush look loquacious – that even Laughing Laura Ingraham of Republicrat zombie radio was embarrassed. Republicrats won Senate seats everywhere, but Pete Coors lost. Did he lose because of all that liaising?

All of this raises the question of Bush’s Christianity. Is it for real? Remember that Communist traitor Kerry is a "Christian." So is Clinton, a Bible-toting churchgoer. Even Hillaroid is probably a "Christian." Kerry, allegedly a Roman Catholic, even said he personally opposes abortion. Of course, he wouldn’t dream of trying to impose his beliefs on the rest of us. (Insert hysterical laughter)

So, what about Bush? How does he reconcile his staunch support for organized sodomy and his staunch Christian faith? For instance, Bush says not only that Islam is the "religion of peace," but also that it is another way to approach God, another way that brings us to the same place.

Is Islam another way? No. "I am the Way." Remember? "I am the Way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father, but by me." So, there is only one Way and that Way is Jesus Christ. I know that because He says so. If you don’t believe that, if you believe there is another way called Islam that does not worship Him as God, then go your way in peace, but you are not a Christian.

Is it possible that Bush is a Christian but just doesn’t understand this? Recently, it was revealed that Bush has an IQ even higher than Kerry’s. If that is true, the President is one smart caballero. No, I don’t believe that Bush just does not understand. What kind of "Christian" says Islam is another way as good as ours? Remember that this is just one example from the emperor’s own mouth.

So, what can we expect now that Bush is no longer running for reelection? We can expect more of the same, more of his unchristian policies, more implementation of the Communist program he and the Democruds share. Notice that when the left wing Communists (Democruds) get elected, they see no need to "cooperate." On the contrary, when they have the power, they ram the program through.

When the right wing Communists (Republicrats) are elected, the watchword is "unity." In their concession appearance, Boy Edwards warned that the battle continues and Communist traitor Kerry called for "healing." Now here comes Bush on Thursday, responding to journalistic demands for "cooperation" by citing No Child Left Behind, the Kennedy legislation he signed. Bush says NCLB is an example of what is coming.

Now here is the kicker. World government conspirators warned disgusted patriots that they had no choice but Bush because of the judges. Yes, you may be disgusted with Bush, said the conspirators, but do you really want to run the risk of letting Kerry name a successor to Rehnquist and others?

In the Pennsylvania primary earlier this year, Pat Toomey, a staunchly conservative Republican congressman ran against Arlen Specter for the nomination for senator. Specter could not be farther left if he paid Communist Party dues. He supports aborticide. Toomey opposed it and came close to winning. But phony "Christian" Bush put the full weight of the White House behind Arlen Specter. Specter won only because of George Bush.

Now here comes what Monsieur Kerry would call the pièce de résistance. The victorious Specter now becomes chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, supervising judicial nominations; and Specter typically is already warning Bush not to send him the kind of judges the man Bush helped him beat would have sent. Specter wants the kind of judicial nominees Kerry would have sent. So does Bush.

Typically, Republicrat zombie talk radio is lamenting Arlen Specter’s disloyal remarks. Needless to say, they don’t say a word about the fact that Bush alone made them possible. As always, this looming disaster "just happened." As always, we need to "support the President."

What was that you said about the judges? What was that you said about Bush and Christianity? Is it okay if I plagiarize Marx? Sure it is, because private property is wrong, nicht wahr, Karl? Yes, a specter threatens us, the same specter Marx wrote about in his Communist Manifesto. It is an Arlen Specter, a gift from world government traitor George Bush.

Alan Stang has been a network radio talk show host and was one of Mike Wallace's first writers. He was a senior writer for American Opinion magazine and has lectured around the world for more than 30 years. He is also the author of ten books. Go to to read about Alan Stang's blockbuster new novel, He, about the greatest hero of all time, Jesus Christ.

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